In my philosophy class, we watched the movie “What Dreams May Come” – a movie about a man who loses his children in a car crash and then dies four years later of the same cause leaving his wife behind. The characters experience a myriad of emotions, as the tragic events occur.
At one point during the movie the wife says “Sometimes when you win, you lose”. This quote in articular stayed with me even after the movie finished. The agony on the wife’s face as she states these words exemplifies that of a mother losing her children. She feels complete anguish and the idea that even though she is still alive, she lost two of the most important things to her. When thinking over this quote, I immediately thought about survivor’s guilt. They were alive – therefore winning – but yet they also lost – feeling guilt or remorse for remaining alive while
others died.
I recently read a book entitled “The Closed Circle”; during one of the scenes a man meets up with another they discuss an event that had occurred in the prequel to this book: “The Rotter’s Club.” One boy had attempted to swim in waters where two seas meet and starts to drown. Paul, the other boy, dives into the water risking his life for the swimmer. As they reflect on this event in the sequel, the boy states that looking back on the event; he almost wishes that he hadn’t been saved. He says that it is a natural reflex to save a life even at the risk of your own, but what if Paul had died? Would the boy’s life been more valuable, would he achieve more than anyone else could? The boy didn’t think so. Even though he was saved – even though he won – he felt deep regret at the almost death of his friend Paul due to a stupid decision.
You win, you survive, but you also lose. Every triumph comes at a cost, everything has a price.
Sometimes, even though something may be great, the consequences can outweigh the happiness felt at the time. Even though you may get what you want, you also have to deal with the consequences of that follow and while you may not lose greatly, you still lose on some scale. Nothing comes for free; everything has its price.
The inverse is also true. “Sometimes when you lose, you win.” For example; in the movie ”V for Vendetta,” the character Evie was afraid – she had wished to be free of fear, and then suddenly she is kidnapped and thrown into prison. Tortured, mistreated, she stays in this prison and has only the company of a small scroll depicting a story of another inmate’s love and passion. She is eventually freed from the prison and finds that her captor was someone that she had trusted. She was imprisoned, she was tortured, she was betrayed, she lost but she also won. She was freed of fear of death, of fear of anything. She lost greatly, but also won incredibly.
I guess the main point that the movie “What Dreams May Come” wanted to portray through this line is that you shouldn’t take anything for granted. Things will happen unexpectedly, you will lose and you will win; but you shouldn’t take anything at face value. You could always see that great light at the end of a dark tunnel, or you could get the rug pulled out from under you. There is always hope for a better outcome, regardless if you happen to lose while you win.
